JudasWatchListenReadJudasI am not sure why I kissed you that night
But I think It’s because I’d run out of options. My mind was preoccupied with running for its life And my stomach was too busy turning itself into balloon animals, So all I could pay attention to Was my flesh, Cold, pale skin glowing in the night As the moon shone through those low trees Casting inconsistent shadows that made us look like We’d cut ourselves into pieces Small enough to eat as sacraments, Your cheeks Were soft, And warm, And innocent, Like a sheep just before it is slaughtered. I watched you grow, Watched your brown, twiggy arms As they gnarled themselves into limbs; Watched the shade of your face change As the first stages of manliness Began to plant its dark seeds in your cheeks; Watched as your hair Became long and winding vines, Stretching themselves into impossibly beautiful yarns Like the ones you would tell us When we and the boys would sneak off in secret, Get just far enough outside the city That we could howl like the wolves we were, Drunk on more wine Than any of us could remember bringing, And then we’d collapse around the bonfire In fits of laughter, Our bodies creating sand storms as they writhed; But once we dust devils had settled, We would all look to you for a story. You spoke of your imaginary worlds with such eloquence We couldn’t help but wish One day we’d end up there. It was on one of those nights That we managed to fall into each other; We both heard the call of gravity But found an answer in each other’s arms instead. Long after your eyelids Had thrown in the towel, My fingertips Were still listening To the Braille whispers Of your whiskers. But you were the center of everyone’s focus in those days; And the way you were able to make Something mystical out of the mundane Gave a whole new meaning to turning tricks, But still I stuck with you, Even when you decided to take your show on the road. You were a superstar, And the throngs became so large That you asked me If I could start handling your finances. … It was the only romantic thing you ever said. But as the years went by, You grew more distant And any alone time I could get with you Was nothing short of a miracle And I didn’t understand, Because what you seemed to be saying Was “make love, not war!” And all I wanted was a chance To let you practice what you preached. Because those crowds Were only with you conditionally, And you were never too good at distinguishing The difference between cries for an encore And your own death. I came to you one night, Asked you if this was really your ideal life, Told you I’d been skimming some off the top for a while And you could retire off the amount that I’d saved… You told me you felt betrayed, And to never speak to you again. So, Jesus, I turned you over. But only because I hope That you’ll see the light, That when they ask you if the accusations are true You’ll deny it, And you’ll be released with nothing more lost Then a few pints of blood and some pride And then we’ll run, Buy two strong black horses And ride off into the sunset To never be seen again And if not, If I find out I’ve condemned you to death, I swear to… You, I’m going to find the tallest tree I can, And maybe, If I just take a leap of faith, I can find a noose that will hold me as tightly As I wish you had. Yours forever, Judas. |